37 | Relapse

First binge in months. I can’t believe I did it again. Not sure how I am supposed to feel about that, but I know I hated the bloated feeling in my stomach and how my double chin makes me feel fat. Why did I do it again? I was really tired from work and feeling bad about my poor food choice for lunch (I wasn’t even hungry I just wanted to eat), plus I was scared about going on the hike with Biology club. Apparently I didn’t go because I binged. I was very disappointed about my behavior.

What followed after the binge was the sluggishness that stopped me from doing anything constructive for my life, for example studying, or even writing my journal. I wrote this one day later because all I wanted to do was sleep on those food I inhaled and hope they get out from my system as soon as possible. Of course human body doesn’t work that way. If we don’t use up the energy, liver converts the excessive carbs into fats and THAT IS HOW WE GET FAT. I woke up with swollen, bloated face again.

Binging makes me feel very bad about myself and I don’t want to feel that way ever again! I will get back into reading the Yamas and Niyamas so they can guide me back onto the right path to a higher living. It’s been a week since I last read, don’t do this Claire. READ.

I went to the first C2 class today and went to the gym for a short run and some spinning, hoping I could undo some of the damage I did to my mind and body from yesterday’s binge. Yes, they helped.

Today I’d like to set an intention for myself– Ahimsa | Non-violence.




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