63 | Post-Christmas

Hello everyone, Claire’s back. My mama is here with me in the America spending Winter Break together.

I haven’t stopped traveling since the end of Fall semester. Went to New York-mama arrived-阿姨 arrived-toured Santa Barbara and Solvang and Santa Ynez-went to San Francisco for De Anza College and UC Davis-and it was Christmas already

A lot has happened. Put on a little holiday weight, but wasn’t from binging, just normal eating out (too much eating out) with Linh and mama and 阿姨. It’s okay, I will lose the extra pounds when the time comes. No pressure, just living my life and seeing the world without thinking about FOOD FOOD FOOD all the time.

I still feel overwhelming time by time. I really wanted  intuitive eating works for me, but I went overboard, I wasn’t watching my diet AT ALL. I even allowed the binge, for about one month. I could literally feel my ass my tummy my legs my face getting puffier and puffier, bigger and bigger, and the fats stuck there forever and ever. But it was finals period, so all of my energy went into stressing out about my grades and I couldn’t care less about my size and yoga and shit.

Good news is my intention for growth and improvement is back. I want to feel and care and love and enjoy and see and do lots and lots of stuffs. See, every time I think about this I get overwhelmed. Like when you’re surfing and the wave just consumes the whole me.

Gonna take a break now and head out for lunch with my mom, she wants Japanese Udon.

 

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