Now

Today is important, today I can make a difference, live today fully and well.

I stumbled across a book on Scribd this morning while I was cycling indoor at the gym. The book is called I can’t stop overeating. The story of the author resonates with me, also very compelling. Every time I start a new book or see something that might be the solution for my eating disorder, I get super excited for that I can finally heal and achieve that ideal body I’ve always wanted since I was 15. Sadly, most of the time, the new “solutions” turn out to be nothing but disappointment because they’re all methods I have tried but failed.

This morning I woke up looking into the mirror thinking: “I’ve gotten so big that I can’t even recognize myself.” What has gone wrong? What happened? Was it intuitive eating that led to this situation, or is it part of my recovery process? Can I go back to the old Claire who has Yoga as her back? Can I rebuild my healthy eating and workout habits? Do you even have any of those in the beginning? I don’t want to be the sad girl who weight like an elephant and couldn’t find a partner in the future. I have dreams that I want to pursue, I can’t get beaten up by eating disorder. No.

There are so much information in the book that I’d like to carry with me, but it is impossible for me to do so. Instead, I will learn how to use my own words to summarize her messages and note them down on my blog to make them mine.

Good job Claire:)

Today’s goal:

  1. drink a lot of water to flush out toxins and fats and feel good
  2. workout to strengthen my body and my mind
  3. live in the present moment

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