Saturday

Yesterday was January 20th, 2017.

Yesterday was Trump’s inauguration.

Yesterday was also the first Friday of my semester, it was the first day without classes and I had to use my self-determination to do homework and study.

It was raining hard in Santa Barbara. I went to yoga at 6, wanted to go to HandleBar for coffee and study with Linh, but it was a hassle traveling around in the rain so I came home. Evan was one step ahead of me getting home, we ended up watching the inauguration together. He liked rainy days so much, we went out just to drive over puddles of water, and to look at CC’s parking lot that was closed because of flood. He also took me up to Hope Ranch and look at his godfather’s house. It was fun. But to be honest, I couldn’t focus on my study in his presence. I just can’t. I had my schedule all planned out, study for Ch14 of Organic Chemistry and do Sapling homework, but I didn’t get that done. Partly because the material is just hard to get ahold of, and the other reason was because we were studying together. Bad.

But I’m glad that I’m trying to let of of the idea of wanting to be perfect for the other person, and simply focus on being present, because now is all I’ve got. I’m also learning to love myself, and stop thinking that people don’t like me just because I didn’t like myself. It was ALL IN MY FUCKING HEAD. I made so many new friends whom I was in the same class with last semester. I took initiative to say hi and we became friends. Did I say already? This semester is going pretty well for Claire:)

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